If you've ever watched Santa hit a hole-in-one with reindeer prancing among the palms, you get it.
And you probably come back for it every Christmas.
Santa's perfect golf shot is repeated every few seconds, every night from Thanksgiving to the New Year, right there across the pond from the Cooper River bridges (old and new), a shrimp boat and, these days, Mrs. Claus on a paddleboard.
The Holiday Festival of Lights' opening salvo is the perfect depiction of a Lowcountry winter wonderland. And in a season filled with tradition, it has become one of Charleston's favorites.
This year marks the 35th anniversary of the James Island County Park's annual light show. It's now been around long enough to become a third-generation pilgrimage, a place where families return every year.
And why wouldn't they? It's one of the country's best Christmas light shows -- electric, eclectic and sometimes a tad eccentric. Where else will you find Jaws, dinosaurs and even UFOs lurking among yuletide décor?
That will make absolutely no sense unless you've seen it firsthand.
This year, I took my grandson to see lights that I first visited before his daddy was born. And I hope they're still around when he has grandchildren of his own to take. Of course, we were not alone -- as the waving space alien confirms.
Again, you had to be there.
It was a relatively slow weeknight by Festival of Lights standards -- only 1,800 carloads passed through the gate that evening. Some weekend nights, well, plan on hearing Mariah Carey and "Feliz Navidad" a few times. At least.
That has long been the only complaint about the festival -- it's crowded. But Charleston County's Park and Recreation Commission added a third entrance lane and now sells advance tickets, both of which keep the lines moving better than they have since before this became a bona fide holiday tradition.
Renee Dickinson, PRC's marketing director, says the expedited lines have encouraged more people to come. Through last week, 111,000 cars had visited -- up from 92,000 at the same point last year.
By New Year's Eve, more than 200,000 people will witness this spectacle -- 2.5 times the number of folks who visited the first Festival of Lights.
In 35 years, more than 5 million people from all 50 states have goggled at the giant oak tree (which includes 10,000 lights), the kids on the joggling board and the elf dodging an alligator bite by the seat of his pants.
Admittedly, it sounds a bit strange if you haven't seen it. But the Festival of Lights is nothing short of a masterpiece, a miracle, the sort of place that can soothe the biggest Scrooge.
The history of the festival is the sort of story that should be narrated by Burl Ives, because it really is about a lot of dedicated people who, time and again, saved Christmas.
When the Park and Recreation Commission was planning the original light show, the idea was to string the lights in the park's copious vegetation. But Hurricane Hugo wiped out 90% of its trees, forcing the staff to improvise.
When it opened that first time, in the holiday season of 1990, the two-mile drive covered 18 light displays built on rebar, including the first animated light (the jack-in-the-box).
Today, the expanded drive has 750 light displays, some -- such as the South Carolina state flag and the Ferris wheel -- suggested by school kids, and the vast majority of them built by retired light show supervisor Rich Raab.
I once toured the Festival of Lights with Raab and, like a fanboy, asked his favorite. He said that was impossible, but if he had to choose, Raab said he was partial to the eagle-and-stars display.
Those patriotic lights lit up the Lowcountry in the dark days after 9/11, and more recently, PRC salvaged Christmas by ensuring the show went on during the worst days of the COVID-19 pandemic.
These days, the line to meet Santa grows longer as Christmas approaches, the recreation commission has added new trains for the kids to ride, and there's a Christmas card art display from every school in Charleston County.
And always, new lights are sprinkled among the classics. This year, look for the lightning strike hidden in the trees around Dinosaur Land, a blink-and-you-miss-it Easter egg.
That's a bit of trivia, and here's a little more. About 30,000 kids (old and young) ride the carousel each year. Staff is replacing old lights with LEDs, which is why some look different now.
And Santa's perfect golf shot is 220 feet. See it once, and you're hooked.
See it every year, and you're part of one of the Lowcountry's most enduring traditions.